ទំលាប់៧ប្រការ

វិធីសាស្រ្ដ៧ចំនុចដែលធ្វើអោយយើងមានទម្លាប់ល្អនិងប្រសិទ្ធភាពខ្ពស់

THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE

(Stephen R. Covey)

HABIT 1: BE PROACTIVE

Your life doesn't just "happen." Whether you know it or not, it is carefully designed by you. The choices, after all, are yours. You choose happiness. You choose sadness. You choose decisiveness. You choose ambivalence. You choose success. You choose failure. You choose courage. You choose fear. Just remember that every moment, every situation, provides a new choice. And in doing so, it gives you a perfect opportunity to do things differently to produce more positive results.

Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can't keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are "response-able." They don't blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. Reactive people, on the other hand, are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their behavior. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn't, it affects their attitude and performance, and they blame the weather. All of these external forces act as stimuli that we respond to. Between the stimulus and the response is your greatest power--you have the freedom to choose your response. One of the most important things you choose is what you say. Your language is a good indicator of how you see yourself. A proactive person uses proactive language--I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A reactive person uses reactive language--I can't, I have to, if only. Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say and do--they have no choice.

Instead of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which they have little or no control, proactive people focus their time and energy on things they can control. The problems, challenges, and opportunities we face fall into two areas--Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence.

Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about: health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern--things over which they have little or no control: the national debt, terrorism, the weather. Gaining an awareness of the areas in which we expand our energies in is a giant step in becoming proactive.

ទម្លាប់ទី១៖ សកម្មមុន (Be Proactive)

 ទម្លាប់នេះតម្រូវឱ្យយើងមានចិត្តស្ងប់ មិនឱ្យប្រតិកម្មរហ័សដោយគ្មានការគិតត្រឹមត្រូវច្បាស់ លាស់ចំពោះស្ថានភាពឬរឿងរាវណាមួយ ។ ត្រូវធ្វើជាមុនស្សចេះមានការត្រិះរិះពិចារណាត្រឹមត្រូវ គិតមុនគូរ ។ ធ្វើជាមនុស្សរឹងប៉ឹង អំនត់ ជាមនុស្សមានទំនួលខុសត្រូវខ្ពស់ មិនស្ដីបន្ទោសអ្នកដទៃ បញ្ហា ពេលវាលា ធម្មជាតិ ឬខ្លួនឯងទេ ត្រូវមានទំនួលខុសត្រូវ និង ត្រូវចេះរិះ រកដំណោះស្រាយនិងរៀបចំខ្លួនប្រកបដោយពិចារណញ្ញាណខ្ពស់ ។ ឧទាហរណ៍ថា ថ្ងៃនេះមេឃភ្លៀងហើយដល់ម៉ោងទៅ រៀនទៀត បើជាមនុស្សគ្មាន ទំនួលខុសត្រូវប្រហែលដេកនៅផ្ទៈបាត់ហើយ តែបើជាមនុស្សទំនួលខុសត្រូវវិញ គេនឹងសួរខ្លួនឯងថាត្រូវ ទៅរៀនដោយរបៀបណា គិតហើយដឹងថាទៅដោយ របៀបណានោះ អាវភ្លៀង ឆ័ត្រជាដើម ។ ដូច្នេះមិនត្រូវបន្ទោសនេះបន្ទោសនោះ ទេ ត្រូវមានទំនួលខុសត្រូវលើខ្លួនឯង ។

HABIT 2: BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND

So, what do you want to be when you grow up? That question may appear a little trite, but think about it for a moment. Are you--right now--who you want to be, what you dreamed you'd be, doing what you always wanted to do? Be honest. Sometimes people find themselves achieving victories that are empty--successes that have come at the expense of things that were far more valuable to them. If your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster.

Habit 2 is based on imagination--the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint. If you don't make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. It's about connecting again with your own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself. Begin with the End in Mind means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.

One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission statement makes you the leader of your own life. You create your own destiny and secure the future you envision.

ទម្លាប់ទី២៖ ចាប់ផ្ដើមពីចំណុចបញ្ជប់ក្នុងចិត្ត (Begin with the end in mind) ទំលាប់នេះតម្រូវឱ្យយើងចេះកំណត់និងរៀបចំគោលដៅសំរាប់ការសិក្សា ការងារ គ្រួសារ ហិរញ្ញវត្ថុ ជំនួញជាដើម ។ សួរខ្លួនឯងថា ចង់រៀនអ្វី ចង់ធ្វើអ្វីចង់រៀបការ ពេលណា ចងរកចង់ស៊ីអ្វី ត្រូវឱ្យច្បាស់ ។ ការមានគោលដៅច្បាស់លាស់ជាអ្វីអ្នក ត្រូវគិតឡើងវិញ ។ ការចេះកំណត់និងរៀបចំគោលដៅមួយឲ្យបានច្បាស់លាស់ វា ហាក់បីដូចជាចង្កៀងមួយសម្រាប់បំភ្លឺផ្លូវដែល ជាទីកន្លែងដែលយើង ចង់ឆ្ពោះទៅរក។

HABIT 3: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST

To live a more balanced existence, you have to recognize that not doing everything that comes along is okay. There's no need to overextend yourself. All it takes is realizing that it's all right to say no when necessary and then focus on your highest priorities.

Habit 1 says, "You're in charge. You're the creator." Being proactive is about choice. Habit 2 is the first, or mental, creation. Beginning with the End in Mind is about vision. Habit 3 is the second creation, the physical creation. This habit is where Habits 1 and 2 come together. It happens day in and day out, moment-by-moment. It deals with many of the questions addressed in the field of time management. But that's not all it's about. Habit 3 is about life management as well--your purpose, values, roles, and priorities. What are "first things?" First things are those things you, personally, find of most worth. If you put first things first, you are organizing and managing time and events according to the personal priorities you established in Habit 2.

ទម្លាប់ទី៣៖ ដាក់អ្វីសំខាន់មុន (Put First things first)

បន្ទាប់ពីបាន កំនត់គោលនិងរៀបចំគោលដៅរួចរាល់ ត្រូវចេះកំណត់ថាអ្វី ត្រូវធ្វើមុនបន្ទាប់ និង ចុងក្រោយគេបង្អស់ ។ ត្រូវមានកាលវិភាគសកម្មភាពប្រចាំថ្ងៃ សប្ដាហ៍ ឬខែ ដើម្បីសម្រេចការងារទាំងនោះតាម លំដាប់លំដោយ ដោយមិនមានសេសសល់ មួយណាឡើយ ។ ទាំងនេះវាបានគាំទ្រដល់ផែនការនិងគោលដៅសំរាប់ដំណើរ ជិវិត របស់អ្នកឱ្យទោះកាន់ភាពជោគជ័យ ។ ប្រសិនបើយើងមិនបានដាក់អ្វីសំខាន់ មុន ឬធ្វើអ្វីទៅតាមការនឹកឃើញ វាប្រហែលពិបាក សម្រេចលទ្ធិផលដែលខ្លួនចង់ បានណាស់ ត្រូវចំណាយពេលច្រើន មានឧបសគ្គច្រើនពិបាកដោះស្រាយ ឬត្រូវបញ្ជប់ដំណើរក៏មាន ឬពេលខ្លៈមិនអាចសម្រេចលទ្ធិតែម្ដង ដែលគេនិយម និយាយថាទទួលបរាជ័យលើការងារទាំងនេះ។

HABIT 4: THINK WIN-WIN

Think Win-Win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.

Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing--that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; it's not fair, and I'm going to make sure you don't get anymore. We all play the game, but how much fun is it really?

Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!

A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:

1.         Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments

2.         Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others

3.         Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone

Many people think in terms of either/or: either you're nice or you're tough. Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that--to achieve that balance between courage and consideration--is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.

ទម្លាប់ទី៤៖ គិត ឈ្នៈ ឈ្នៈ (Think Win/Win)

នៅក្នុងចំណុចនេះចង់ឱ្យយើងគិតពី ដំណោះស្រាយណាឈ្នៈចំពោះ គ្រប់ភាគី ពាក់ព័ន្ធ មិនមានភាគីណាចាញ់ឬ មិនទទួលផលចំពោះដំណោះស្រាយនោះទេ ។ គ្រប់គ្រា ឈ្នៈបានដើរតួសំខាន់ រាល់ស្ថានភាព ដែលរក្សាបាននូវទំនាក់ទំនង មិត្តភាព សាមគ្គីភាព សហការ ដៃគូរ និង ភាពរីកចម្រើនទាំងអស់គ្នា ។ បើមានអ្នកឈ្នៈ ឬ អ្នកចាញ់ក្នុង កាលៈទេសៈ ណាមួយនោះ និងមិនមានសេចក្ដីសុខរីក ចម្រើននោះដែរ ។ ធ្វើអ្វីផ្អែកលើផល ប្រយោជន៍រួមទើបសង្គមមានការរីក ចម្រើន ជាជាងគំនិតអាត្មានិយមដែលថ្ងៃ ក្រោយមានបញ្ហាច្រើនអាចកើតឡើង។

HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD

Communication is the most important skill in life. You spend years learning how to read and write, and years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training have you had that enables you to listen so you really, deeply understand another human being? Probably none, right?

If you're like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you're listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. So why does this happen? Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are going to ask, etc. You filter everything you hear through your life experiences, your frame of reference. You check what you hear against your autobiography and see how it measures up. And consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating. Do any of the following sound familiar?

"Oh, I know just how you feel. I felt the same way." "I had that same thing happen to me." "Let me tell you what I did in a similar situation."

Because you so often listen autobiographically, you tend to respond in one of four ways:

Evaluating:    You judge and then either agree or disagree.

Probing:         You ask questions from your own frame of reference.

Advising:        You give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.

Interpreting:  You analyze others' motives and behaviors based on your own experiences.

You might be saying, "Hey, now wait a minute. I'm just trying to relate to the person by drawing on my own experiences. Is that so bad?" In some situations, autobiographical responses may be appropriate, such as when another person specifically asks for help from your point of view or when there is already a very high level of trust in the relationship.

ទម្លាប់ទី៥៖ ស្វែងឱ្យយល់ មុនពេលយល់(Seek First to Understand, Then to be understood)  នៅត្រង់ចំណុចនេះបានបង្រៀនឱ្យយើងចេះស្វែងរកដើមហេតុ ដើមទង មុនពេលសន្មត់ ឬយល់ឃើញអ្វីមួយ ។ មិនត្រូវធ្វើជាមនុស្សចង់យល់ ដោយអត់ ដឹងហេតុ ជាមនុស្សមិនចេះស្ដាប់ហេតុផល ឃើញអ្វីថាហ្នឹងដោយមិន បានគិត ។ ទម្លាប់មួយនេះផ្ដោតច្រើនទៅលើទំនាក់ទំនង យើងត្រូវចេះអង្កេតហេតុ អ្វីបានជាទៅយ៉ាងនេះ? ដើមទងយ៉ាងណាដែរ? ម្ដេចដល់ថ្នាក់ហ្នឹង? មិនត្រូវវាយ តម្លៃតែសំបក់ក្រៅ ឬចេះតែកាត់យល់ដោយមិនបានស្ដាប់ហេតុផលគេនោះទេ ។ ត្រូវរកឱ្យឃើញ សូមមុនឹងយល់ ទើបរាល់ការគិត ការសម្រេចចិត្ត ឬការយល់ ឃើញនានាមិនមានកំហុសឆ្គង ។

HABIT 6: SYNERGIZE

To put it simply, synergy means "two heads are better than one." Synergize is the habit of creative cooperation. It is teamwork, open-mindedness, and the adventure of finding new solutions to old problems. But it doesn't just happen on its own. It's a process, and through that process, people bring all their personal experience and expertise to the table. Together, they can produce far better results that they could individually. Synergy lets us discover jointly things we are much less likely to discover by ourselves. It is the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. One plus one equals three, or six, or sixty--you name it.

When people begin to interact together genuinely, and they're open to each other's influence, they begin to gain new insight. The capability of inventing new approaches is increased exponentially because of differences.

Valuing differences is what really drives synergy. Do you truly value the mental, emotional, and psychological differences among people? Or do you wish everyone would just agree with you so you could all get along? Many people mistake uniformity for unity; sameness for oneness. One word--boring! Differences should be seen as strengths, not weaknesses. They add zest to life.

ទម្លាប់ទី៦៖ ចេះធ្វើការងារជាក្រុម (Synergize) មិនមានមនុស្សអាចធ្វើការងារ មួយបានជោជ័យដោយគ្មានការចូលរួមពីអ្នកដទៃ ឬធ្វើការងារជាក្រុមនោះទេ ក្រាន់តែមានរូបភាពតិច ឬក៏ច្រើនតែប៉ុន្នោះ ។ ដើម្បីឱ្យការងារមានដំណើរការល្អ និងមានការរីកចម្រើន ទាមទារចេះធ្វើការងារជាក្រុម ទើបលទ្ធិផលនោះមាន លក្ខណៈគ្រប់ជ្រុងជ្រោយ ។ ឧទាហរណ៍ឱ្យងាយយល់ សៀវភៅដែលល្អមិន មែន សរសេរដោយគំនិតតែម្នាក់នោះទេ ត្រូវការគំនិតគេបន្ថែម ។ កិច្ចការងាជាក្រុម បានល្អត្រូវមានការចូលរួម ពីសមាជិកក្រុម ទាំងអស់ ។ ការងារប្រទេសជាតិ ក្រុម ហ៊ុន គ្រួសារ  និង ការងារសង្គមជាដើម ត្រូវចេះធ្វើការងារជាក្រុមទើបមានការរីក ចម្រើន ទាំងអស់គ្នា ។

HABIT 7: SHARPEN THE SAW

Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have--you. It means having a balanced program for self-renewal in the four areas of your life: physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual. Here are some examples of activities:

Physical:                     Beneficial eating, exercising, and resting

Social/Emotional:      Making social and meaningful connections with others

Mental:                       Learning, reading, writing, and teaching

Spiritual:                    Spending time in nature, expanding spiritual self through meditation, music, art, prayer, or service

As you renew yourself in each of the four areas, you create growth and change in your life. Sharpen the Saw keeps you fresh so you can continue to practice the other six habits. You increase your capacity to produce and handle the challenges around you. Without this renewal, the body becomes weak, the mind mechanical, the emotions raw, the spirit insensitive, and the person selfish. Not a pretty picture, is it?

Feeling good doesn't just happen. Living a life in balance means taking the necessary time to renew yourself. It's all up to you. You can renew yourself through relaxation. Or you can totally burn yourself out by overdoing everything. You can pamper yourself mentally and spiritually. Or you can go through life oblivious to your well-being. You can experience vibrant energy. Or you can procrastinate and miss out on the benefits of good health and exercise. You can revitalize yourself and face a new day in peace and harmony. Or you can wake up in the morning full of apathy because your get-up-and-go has got-up-and-gone. Just remember that every day provides a new opportunity for renewal--a new opportunity to recharge yourself instead of hitting the wall. All it takes is the desire, knowledge, and skill.

ទម្លាប់ទី៧៖ សម្លៀងរណារ (Sharpen the Saw) ទាក់ទងត្រងចំណុចនេះ យើងត្រូវពិនិត្យឡើងវិញនូវ សុខភាពផ្លូវកាយ សុខភាព ផ្លូវចិត្ត ស្មារតី និងទំនាក់ ទំនងក្នុងសង្គម ។ ទោះបីជាយើងដើរដល់ណាក៏ដោយបើ សុខភាពផ្លូវកាយ សុខភាពផ្លូវចិត្ត ស្មារតី និងទំនាក់ទំនងក្នុងសង្គម មិនមាន ឬភ្លេចគិតពីវាយើងពុំ មែនជាមនុស្សជោគជ័យដែរ ។ ដូច្នេះត្រូវចេះយកចិត្តទុកដាក់លើវា និងគិតគូរវា ឡើងវិញ ព្រោះថាពេលយើងឈឺអ្វីៗយើងបានខំប្រឹងប្រែងទាំងប៉ុន្មាន ត្រូវរលាយ គ្មានសល់ ឬមិនបានឃើញស្នាដៃទាំងនោះទៀតទេ ។

ចូលចងចាំថា ទម្លាប់ទី១ដល់ទី៦បន្តទៅមុខបាន អាស្រ័យលើទម្លាប់ទី៧ បើគ្នានទី៧ និងគ្នានទី១ដល់ទី៦៕